
No, I am not writing about
predestination vs. free will either (like the Calvinist Gadfly is. Isn't that a great blog name by the way?) I am following up a post by Daniel Randle over at
Christ and Culture on tipping (and he is not talking about cow tipping either).
It seems that I might be one of the last people on earth to not know the truth about tipping. While I was a pizza delivery 'guy' in high school I never learned the finer art of tipping. (All I knew was that if someone didn't tip us... we let the 'new' guy deliver that one!) I had no idea that there was some form of code for this process. I have always tipped well at restaurants (except at Sonic, do they count?) but then I entered into the realm of valet parking.
We drive an old church bus (full of our children) and my wife seldom, if ever, allows anyone to enter it (something about the smell and airing our dirty laundry). In fact if I were to imply that someone might be riding with us in our bus (or heaven forbid driving our van!), everything in it gets a complete interior overhaul! So I haven't had the opportunity to be exposed to this new-fangled thing called valet parking. The one time I did I did it all wrong! I posted it on Daniel's blog. Here is the entire post:
"Yeah so there I was at the hospital (for child # 7 or 8) right next to the sign that said 'free valet parking'. I hop out of the car with my family of 10 and hand the keys to my 1989 Ford 15 passenger van (old church van!) to the kind valet. When I return to the parking lot it is pouring
down rain and I am so thankful for the 'free valet service'! He brought our car.... I loaded the family up and drove off. How was I supposed to know that the look on the valet's face was something other than disgust at the weather?When I told my little brother about this (he valeted for Opryland Hotel) he flipped out. In my defense... free still means free right? How are we supposed to know? Thanks for helping me out!"

I didn't get much help from the posters on Christ and Culture. I still don't get it. My little brother tried to convince me that it was the 'right' thing to do but then again I think he has an alterior motive (He is a valet parker. Can anyone say: conflict of interest?). Besides if you have seen some of the things that I have seen, would you valet?
Anyway, as I considered the situation in hindsight. I thought of several tips that have become my modus operandi. I give you 2 of them:

Tip # 1: "Don't eat yellow snow." This tip has served me well over that past 35 years. I think this is the best one to offer.
Tip # 2: "Don't breathe under water." This also has kept me alive and kicking and I believe it has helped numerous other individuals in the past (as they are still alive the next time I see them. It is so helpful to them that they want to share the wealth by letting the 'new guy' help me out!)
For what it is worth, I think that we need to be much more careful to comunicate exactly what we mean. Words can be so confusing. As a matter of fact, maybe we ought to consider some of the things that we, as Christians, say to our friends and family. Things such as "good luck", "you sure are/were lucky!", "today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit (James 4:13-15)", or "go in peace, be warmed and filled (James 2;15-16). Let's watch our words and do our best to communicate the glorious good news of Christ and His Word!Soli Deo Gloria